Sold My Farm

After bein' in jail so fuckin' long, everything on my farm went to shit. Basically, the trailer was fucked by the time I got out of jail. I almost wonder if some fuckin' squatters came in and knew I was in jail. By the time I got out of jail, the trailer was filled with fuckin' junk and you couldn't even get around. Mold was fuckin' growin everywhere and there were rats all over.

I ended up sleepin' in the machine shed for a while and I was lookin' forward to get to work in the fields but none of my fuckin' tractors started. Figured any repairs would cost thousands of dollars. Fuck that shit. I barely had enough money to get drunk and buy dip and smokes.

Well by then I figured out the best thing I've probably thought of in a long time. If I sold my farm I could get a shitload of money. Then I could just get a job as a farm laborer somewhere and still be doing the same fuckin' thing I've been doing my whole life.

So I really didn't want to deal with those son of a bitchin' real estate folks. I only would sell my farm for straight cash. Ain't gonna be dealin' with none of those banks. So I got a hold of Barney Dunse in jail, the guy who wanted to farm my land. He put me in contact with some folks who would buy my farm and grow whatever the fuck it is that they grow there. I'm suspicious that they may be growin' that dope as they looked like dopers to me. But I figured it don't really matter to me, I was lookin' to get out of the Wauzeka area. The fuckin' cops are on my ass all the time and I can't even drive around here because all the fuckin' cops know I ain't got a license and am usually drunk. So these guys offered me $150,000 straight cash for my farm. I took it in a fuckin' heartbeat.

Then I got a good lead on a farmin' job. I went and interviewed and got the job. It's only $5.50 an hour but what the fuck do I care? I'm fuckin' loaded right now anyway and besides, this farmer built a room in the machine shed I'm livin' in.

Well I'm pretty much fuckin' rich right now. I just moved to this Denzer area. Denzer's got a pretty good tavern and there are a couple more over in Leland. The cops don't know me and some of the fellas from Wauzeka may come on down.

With all this money, I may rent myself a double wide. That'll be the only way I get a piece of ass. I've got to impress the women and I hear it takes a double wide around these parts to make an impression on the bitches.

And one last thing, I'm definitely switching back to Copenhagen now that I have this cash. I think I'm going to go on a fuckin' shoppin' spree here soon.