Smashed My Pickup

Yep I done did it again, I smashed my pickup when I was drivin' drunk. Done wrapped it 'round a tree. I hit my head on the windshield but it didn't hurt me none. Now it looks like I gotta drive a tractor to the tavern now. Luckily them cops didn't get a hold of me 'cause I ain't supposed to be drivin' none. Probably goin' to jail soon for my latest drunken drivin' and if the judge seen I done got another DWI I'd probably go longer.

Liquor Competition

Well this weekend in Wauzeka was the annual Liquor Competition to see who brew up some of the best liquor this year.

Old Man Zweibel done broke into my still last week and stole all my moonshine I was makin'. So I had to go down to the liquor store and steal some old whiskey barrels. Put some water in 'em and rolled 'em around a little bit and then you got yourself a liquor called swish. Pretty fuckin' hard to get down but boy does it sure get you drunk.

My swish got last place for taste but pretty well knocked everybody on their asses. In fact everybody was so fucked up from my swish they couldn't even give me the Concoction With Kick Award.

Wish I would've had my moonshine, that shit kicks ass every year. Well I guess I better go drink some more fuckin' swish, I'm losin' my buzz here.