Still Alive

I tell you what, I ain't put nothin' on here in quite a while. When my cousin Brody went to prison for a while, one of those bitches he was done knockin' boots with stole that computin' machine of his.

Well, we done got it back and are sure as shit ready to start tellin' folks 'bout what's goin' on.

That money I got from sellin' my farm a few years back sure didn't last too long. $150,000 and I thought I was set for life. Life don't work out like that none. I went out and got that double wide trailer and set it on the farm I was workin' at. Third fuckin' night I was in the trailer I finished drinkin' myself a jug of homemade firewater that a fella named Donnie brewed up. That was a pretty fuckin' potent batch he made up there as I was blacked the fuck out. At some point, I done must've forgot to put a smoke in the ash tray or something because when I woke up there were all kinds of fuckin' sirens and them government folk comin' onto my property because the god damn trailer was on fire. Them fuckers are lucky I was so drunk and my guns were inside the trailer (besides the shotgun I keep in my pickup).

Anyway, them ass holes put that fire out. Me bein' the smarter kind of fella was lucky I didn't have all my money in the trailer at the time. Don't believe in those banks none so I had it buried in a bunch of different spots all 'round the country. The biggest fuckin' problem with that is the night that I buried it, I had drank two bottles of Old Thompson whiskey and was drunker than shit. For the life of me, I can't figure out where the hell I buried that god damn money.