New Job

Well, y'all know I like any kind of hard work I can find. Won't be seein' me and any of them offices none. I like work and I like it hard. Well that there Smith farm up the hill wants me to tear down there barn so they can build one of them fancy milkin' operations.

Well I done went on down there with my demolition tools (TNT) and started goin' to work. Took my shotgun along too and shot some pigeons before I got to work. Didn't have time to go poach a deer or somethin' before supper so pigeon would have to do. Well after I was done shootin' them pigeons Reb Smith's wife done came out to see what I was up to. I told her I was gettin ready to work and asked where ole' Reb had gone off to. She told me he went into town for some nails. So I figured me and Reb Smith's wife ought to knock some boots.

Sure enough me and her got it on right on some straw in the barn. Wouldn't you know then right about before I was ready to blow my load, ole' Reb pulled in and came up and says what's goin on? So I pulled out and grabbed my shotgun and pointed at the cocksucker. I told him I was a gonna head on home and he better not grab his shotgun because I'd blow him away.

So I went on home and got drunk. That was yesterday, figure tomorrow I can go finish the job. Maybe both jobs.

That there is my old woman. Ain't been with her in a while now. 

Hi, I'm Mel Judd

Hey out there my name is Mel Judd, I'm a farmer and I do plenty of other stuff like helpin' out the neighbors when the pigs and cattle get out, and mend fence. I've also done some grave diggin' for a little extra money for beer, chew, and smokes. That leads me to another thing I like to do, and that is get drunk. I drink pretty well every night, quite a few days I also drink durin' the day, it helps get through the hard day's work on my farm.

When I worked in a foundry back a few years ago I had to sneak in a flask of whiskey every day. I'd keep the bottle in my 1986 Chevy S10 pickup that was missin' quite a bit, including the windshield. Rear fender was bent to fuck too.

Anyways, enough about my pickup. I also have two kids, Ruben and Zeke. I don't see them too much. Ruben is 10 and Zeke is 8. I reckon those boys will be wantin' to hang out with there old man one of these days to get drunk. But who knows. That bitch Porsche that is there mother don't let them see me. I ain't quite sure how the fuck I got her pregnant twice but whiskey sure does cause memory loss sometimes. Once I figure out how to get one of them pictures on here you'll get to see that bitch.


My cousin Brody Pagel is another fella I know. He's got one of them there blogs too. He's lived with me a few times, most recently in my double-wide trailer on my farm until I caught him stealin all my whiskey and smokes. Seeing as how it was pretty cold I wasn't gonna leave him on the road so I offered him an empty calf hutch of mine. Finally found himself some slut at the tavern and shacked up with her.

Well I'll be tellin' some good stories on here from time to time so y'all check back now.